I’m truly sorry for everything that I did wrong, for not giving you enough attention, for not texting back, for making you love me, when I didn’t even know if I loved you… I’m sorry for all of the pain I gave you… I’m sorry that I realized that I love you, when I lost you….To cut a long story short, I am really sorry.
Avert the temptation of justifying your behavior. Apologizing through a message has the advantage of giving you enough time to come up with the right words. Send her messages through texts or letters. (5) You may need to exert more effort to make amends in cases where she can’t forgive you at once. People want to hear your words to gauge your sincerity. The person you are trying to apologize to will likely forgive you if you say it in person. The gesture must be felt as genuine and not as an effort to “buy her off” with a gift. You should offer an immediate remedy and express sincerity soon after that point.(3) A Journal of Marketing study adds a new guideline: Start with “thank you” rather than saying “sorry.” (3) An example: “Thank you for your patience” is an alternative for, “Sorry, I made you wait.” The general rule of apologizing is to “acknowledge accountability and promise future excellence,” says Amy Ebesu Hubbard, University of Hawai’i at Mānoa.Īcknowledging accountability means you accept your mistake has caused harm and suffering. The gift is essentially not to enrich the recipient but to serve as a punishment to the offender. “Apology gifts are as old as sin,” writes Arianne Cohen at BBC.com. Ask what you can do to make up for your mistake. (6)Ĭompensation as a way to say you’re sorry “Your apologies will carry less weight later on, especially for situations that really warrant a sincere apology,” says John Hall on CNBC. (4)ĭon’t offer a “non-apology.” That’s when you apologize for offending the person rather than for your behavior.
The transgressor is likely to be forgiven more when the apology is offered relatively quickly, especially with considerable effort, reports one study. (3) The offender could be too slow in offering an apology. The apology should help the other person feel secure - that the mistake will certainly not be repeated. Apologizing sometimes can fail miserably. You cannot be trusted since you cannot be held accountable.
You no longer will be considered “safe” if you keep making the same mistakes. A genuine apology is one that tells him or her, “I behaved badly and I will not treat you that way again.” It will appear as a hollow apology and will hold no value otherwise. Brené Brown, author of Dare to Lead, puts it like this: “While some leaders consider apologizing to be a sign of weakness, we teach it as a skill and frame the willingness to apologize and make amends as brave leadership.” (2)įrame your apology as a pledge not to make the same mistakes again.
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